We get some fairly interesting questions from our friends at Anastasia Toys to go along with some of the totally asinine, unintelligible, and downright hilarious ones we receive. Such brings me to the point I was this morning when I started to answer a question that I felt might serve better as a blog post. Creep with me. Here’s the question:
I’ve been faking it for a year and a half. We’re getting married in a couple of weeks. I enjoy our sex life immensely, just can’t get there very often. Should I tell him?
Well that’s an interesting conundrum, now isn’t it? There are a few different ways to skin this cat. Let’s take a look at them.
For starters, wow. Having to fake an orgasm for a year and a half seems like a lot of work. I know its pretty easy for a woman to do but to keep up the charade for so long WHILE convincing your man that he’s doing a good job just seems…exhausting. Yet, this woman actually enjoys her sex life? I’m slightly amazed by that. But she claims she is so I have to accept that as fact.
So here’s where I think it becomes really interesting in general: I have no idea if she should tell him or not. And even further, I don’t know if you should ever tell your significant other that you’ve been faking it…ESPECIALLY for a year and a half.
I wonder how I’d feel if the woman I love came to me and told me she’d been faking it for that long. If she said it to me in the heat of an argument I’d likely not believe her since folks say all kinds of mean spirited stuff in fights. However, if she came to me on some serious, we need to talk tip, and broke it down for me that she’d been faking it, almost like how an admission of cheating might occur, I wonder if my ego would be crushed. OR if I’d just tell her that I wanted to do better. I assume I’d go with the latter but I would be confused as to why she felt a need to fake it all that time.
A couple of times when you’re tired? I can dig that. Hell, I’ve done that. And yes, men do fake it sometimes as well. But constantly and always?
What would women feel like if their man told them that he never managed to orgasm sleeping with her? Would that be a severe shot to her ego and womanhood? These things keep me up at night. (As does wondering just how old Elmo is…)
Now, while I’m not sure if you ever need to tell somebody, I do think that you should definitely attempt to make sure that you get yours. Telling your partner that they need to try new things or that you want to attempt something different to get there is mandatory. Hell, just telling them what DOES help get you there will likely result in him or her going over time to do it just to get you off. That negates the need to tell them. Right?
More open communication can alleviate the whole need to tell them that you basically can’t get them there, thereby turning a negative directly into a positive. Which leads me to wonder is there EVER a reason to tell in the first place?
So I bring that to the people…is there ever a reason to tell somebody and SHOULD you arrive at a decent reason to do so, still, even then, should you? Or should you just find ways to help your partner get you where you need to go?
Click Here to Discover 3 Rough Sex Moves She’ll BEG You For Again & Again…
Hey man, this is another episode of Ask Ruwando.
I’m Ruwando on behalf of Gotham club.
And today’s question comes from Nicholas.
CONTROVERSIAL VIDEO: These Subtle Touch Tricks Get Her Soaking Wet, Naked & On Top of You In Bed (Even If You’re “Just Friends” Right Now)!
“How can I get invited to sex parties?”
Well, Nick, this is kind of like asking, “How do I make friends?”
But you know, I will say there are a couple guidelines.
I’ve been to sex parties on several different occasions, and if you want to get invited to one, you first have to know what you want to get out of it.
I’ll show you what I mean below:
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
If you live in a big city, there are sex parties in your city, I’m almost sure.
They’re not necessarily a mainstream thing, of course, but there are different types of sex parties.
So I’ll say if you want to go for the more commercial route, like the kind of more of the party feel, or the more of a swingers elements, if you just Google sex parties in your city, you’ll probably find something.
They usually tend to be kind of expensive, because they’re more of an experience people pay for, right?
It’s not necessarily a communal thing.
TRENDING: If A Younger Woman Does This With Her Body It Means She Wants You Bad (Most Older Guys Totally Miss This!)
A lot of the people who go to these kinds of things like to sample all the different high-end sex parties.
Personally, I’ve been to some of them, they’re not really my jam.
But you will see beautiful people in porn-like scenarios doing their thing.
And if you end up jumping in, and that’s your thing, great. It’s not really my thing.
Beyond “The Lifestyle”: Did You Know There Are Different Kinds of Sex Parties?
The other kind of sex parties are more of like the Burning Man, like more conscious community type sex parties.
These tend to be more exclusive, they tend to be a lower price, but you kind of have to know someone in that scene.
So if that is your thing, I would say hang out with burners. There are burner type events all over the place.
But I mean… you have to make friends with these people.
If you’re part of this community, it’s likely you can come to one of these parties.
WARNING: These Shocking “Touch Tricks” Turn Hot Girls On & Make Them Want to Bang Your Brains Out (Don’t Use These Unless You Want Sex Right Away!)…
The thing is, with these kinds of parties, they really emphasize consent and making sure everyone’s in a safe space.
So if you’re not in this community, you’re not cool with the people.
Basically, they don’t want random dudes there. A lot of these parties also want to balance the ratio of men to women.
(Because that way the women feel safer, and the men feel like they’re having more fun.)
The Secret to Getting Invited to the Kinds of Sex Parties You Can’t Find Online Or Buy a Ticket For (And Where Women Far Outnumber The Men)…
Often, you can’t just buy a ticket to these parties and just show up. You need to know someone to be invited.
And you do this by making friends with the people who run these kinds of things.
They’re typically visible in those communities.
And the final kind of sex party that’s out there is called, well, a “play party.”
But it’s more about “Neo-Tantra” and sex education. A lot of Tantra communities will put on sex parties or “play parties.”
And they’re often called things like temple nights or sacred sexuality things.
If that’s your jam, it’s a little similar to the Burning Man community.
These groups tend to be more communal. They’re not something you can just search for online and be invited to.
But if you get in touch with these people, you can often meet them at Tantra workshops or sex ed workshops–and from there you just have to get to know them.
In my experience though, getting invited to these parties is the easy part…
The important part is making sure you get invited back to them once you’re there.
And here’s how:
How To Be the Man Every Woman Wants to Bang Once You’re There (And Get Invited Back Again & Again)…
After attending dozens of sex parties, the ONE big thing I’ve learned… is that you need to walk in with something to offer.
Otherwise you’re going to end up awkwardly standing in the corner with your drink to your chest… watching people have all kinds of awesome kinky group sex…
I’ve been there, it sucks, and I don’t want that to happen to you.
So what can you bring to the table?
Well there are 3 things in particular that the women in these circles go bonkers over…
1) A man who can get it up fast, and stay hard (like REALLY hard)
Women, especially women who are kinky enough to go to a sex party… want to feel desired and sexy.
So if you can easily get hard, and stay hard… not only are you going to make your partner(s) feel really good…
But you’re also obviously going to bring her more pleasure the longer you last:
→ Click here to learn how to get as hard as a lead pipe, and stay that hard all night!
2) A man who can make them cum like no one else can.
Hands down, by far, the most powerful orgasm you can give a woman is by stimulating her “Deep Spot.”
Most women aren’t aware of the existence of this spot… and so one of my favorite party tricks is to tease a woman by telling her I can “show” her where her Deep Spot is!
(If you take this approach, you can also VERY easily transition it into some kinky professor-student roleplay haha…)
The trouble is, most guys assume you need a “monster dong” to hit a woman’s Deep Spot…
… though if you know the right technique, I promise it’s a lot easier than you think:
→ Click here to see the “Deep Spot Technique” that gives her WILDLY powerful orgasms.
3) A man who can get them off in different ways.
Like I mentioned above, the Deep Spot is a VERY sensitive area that gives women immense pleasure… but there are many ways to make a woman cum.
And in my experience this is a particularly crucial skill to have at sex parties…
Because when you can make a woman cum in different ways, you basically unlock her vagina.
Rumors of your capabilities will spread, other women will want to “play” with you, and you’ll get invited to more and more sex parties.
And one of my favorite ways to do this is a fingering move you can use before sex… (women will always come back to a man who gets them off before the deed)…
It’s called “5 Finger Tantra,” it’s known to give women multiple orgasms…
And if she’s SUPER sensitive *down there*… she may even squirt (you’ve been warned!):
→ Click here now to see how to use “5 Finger Tantra” to send her over the edge the moment you touch her. (short free video)
Did You Know: Foreplay can make or break whether a woman thinks you’re dynamite or dull in bed?
Click Here to Discover 5 All-Natural Foods That Allow Nearly Any Guy to Last Longer In Bed (Even If You Haven’t Had an Erection in Years)…
For men, we can skip the foreplay altogether. But for women, foreplay is arguably more important than the actual sex.
In fact, great sex can be the hallmark of a fulfilling relationship.
The actual sexual act, however, is only the finale of a long, complicated process, every part of which needs your attention and care.
That’s why you need to avoid being too predictable.
Don’t be like a robot and think in terms of formulas.
Exactly two minutes kissing. Two minutes fingering. Two minutes playing with her boobs. Every. Single. Time.
That’s how you get the reputation of a dud in the sack!
Instead, foreplay should be fun and spontaneous. Even if you are not ending with actual sex, foreplay itself can be immensely hot if done right.
So if you’re looking for a little something extra to bring to the table the next time you and your woman hit the sack, you’re in luck.
Here are 10 foreplay tips that can take your game to the next level and guarantee you and your partner new and exciting experiences.
#1: How to Get Hot and Heavy BEFORE You’re in the Bedroom
That’s easy. Sexting.
Sexting can be a great way to get the blood flowing and bringing the naughty thought front and center.
Upping your sexting game and getting really into it can help get both of you into the mood. A poignant idea is to start early on in the day.
Making it a whole-day affair increases anticipation and heightens the buildup to the final, exciting climax.
For effective sexting, here are some things to text her:
Previews of what is about to come
Compliments to your partner
Specific requests for when you do get it on
And mentioning specific fantasies you would love to act out
For more ideas, check out this article by Rebecca Blanton.
#2: Get More Intimate and Turn Up the Heat with Fantasies
Sexual fantasies can be a great source of arousal.
We all have them.
Yes, even seemingly “good girls” have sexual fantasies.
One great way to incorporate this into your foreplay is to share fantasies with your partner and then choose specific fantasies you both want to try.
Start small and simple.
Then work your way towards more elaborate fantasies to keep the excitement building.
CONTROVERSIAL VIDEO: These Subtle Touch Tricks Get Her Soaking Wet, Naked & On Top of You In Bed (Even If You’re “Just Friends” Right Now)!
#3: This Popular Method Can Add Fun and Excitement into Nearly Any Relationship
For couples looking to spice things up, roleplay can be a savior.
Thinking outside your own personalities can have a powerful effect on arousal and this is what roleplay can achieve for you.
There are tons of roleplay options to choose from.
Strangers at a bar.
Bored housewife and the mailman.
Teacher and student.
The options are endless.
Specific fictional personality traits can help bring out the heights of arousal in your partner.
Experiment with these traits and find out what works for you.
#4: Get Out of Your Routine and Try Something New!
Add some spice by incorporating exciting new elements to your foreplay.
If you are comfortable enough with each other, consensual dominance play or bondage can be fun.
Mild pain and the feeling of submission can work great for some people in terms of arousal and creating the right psychological state for rewarding sex.
Figure out what works for you and your partner.
And don’t be afraid to experiment.
#5: The Best Type of Touch for Foreplay
Often, the best foreplay involves getting your partner relaxed and comfortable and gradually working towards sexual stimulation.
One of the ways to achieve this is to give your partner a stellar sexy massage.
This can make her relaxed.
Puts her in the mood.
And you get to explore her body and curves.
#6: How to Get Her Hot (Literally)
Hot and cold temperatures and the sensations they provide can play a big role in arousal.
Incorporating this in your foreplay can lead to wonderful results.
Heating or cooling lubricants.
These can all be fun and interesting ways to influence your arousal.
Combining both can take things to the next level.
#7: Drive Her WILD With Playful Teasing
Sometimes, NOT doing something can be more powerful than actually doing it.
Like going down on your partner but making them wait for several minutes while you just kiss around her p*ssy and thighs.
This is especially true if your partner is expecting or looking forward to you doing it.
The psychological tension of waiting can make for explosive orgasms.
BRAND-NEW: The Fastest Way to Give Any Girl Multiple EXPLOSIVE Orgasms…
Figure out what your partner wants you to do at specific moments.
Then make them wait.
Take your time and give your partner hints about doing it to heighten anticipation.
#8: Incorporate Visual Stimulation
Sometimes, looking at something hot with your partner can work wonders for arousal.
Some studies indicate that watching porn with each other can often lead to the use of new or rarely used foreplay techniques. that can really spice up your foreplay and create interesting results.
This can be a great way to keep things new and fresh.
#9: Explore Her Body
You may have been together for years.
But there are tons of little known “erogenous zones” (areas of the body that can cause sexual stimulation) that you may not be aware of in your partner yet.
If you keep exploring, you might discover new, exciting things about your partner.
You can then incorporate these in your next round of foreplay to great effect.
#10: Focus on the Foreplay, Not the Sex
Sometimes, the best way for two people to understand the importance of foreplay and enjoy it thoroughly is to go about it without preconceived notions or expectations.
Don’t just do it because it will lead to sex.
Actually enjoy it.
It’s vital to understand that foreplay can be enjoyed and savored as a standalone thing and does not need to lead to sex every time.
Investing mentally in the foreplay can bring new enjoyment and might even help you and your partner climax before you actually go on to have sex.
10 foreplay tips to give her that Big O
Last night my f**k buddy had one of the wildest Big O’s I’ve ever seen…
She squirted all over my sheets (and my face). She looked like she had a seizure. And she couldn’t really put words together after I f**ked her.
A BIG reason why I was able to make this happen is because I understand how important foreplay is, so here are 10 foreplaying tips you need to use ASAP
Shower and smell nice.
This should be really freakin obvious, but if you smell like a sweaty sock she’ll be turned off FAST.
Set the mood. Light some candles, dim the lights, play some music. There’s a lot more to good s*x for women then there are for men. I’m satisfied doing it in a public bathroom, I don’t care. But for women the whole experience makes a difference.
Slow it down.
Build the anticipation, kiss a lot, and take time undressing her. Don’t jump right into it.
Be prepared. Make sure you have lube and condoms close by. It can really kill the mood if you’re about to finger bang her, but she’s not wet yet, and you have to dig through your bathroom drawer until you find the lube or a condom. Make sure those things are next to your bed.
Don’t be afraid to get a little rough. Most women like it rough, so don’t be afraid to spank her a few times, or lightly wrap your hands around her throat while you kiss her.
Don’t skimp on the oral.
When the time is right, and she’s dripping wet… Don’t just stick it straight in there. Give her some tongue action before you stick it in. If you’re good with your tongue you can get her off first, THEN stick it in, and she’ll cum so hard she’ll forget where she’s at.
Send her dirty texts.
If you know you’re gonna have some action, send her a few dirty texts leading up to when you meet up so her brain is focused on what’s going to happen. If you’re a wordsmith you might even get her wet before you meet.
But simply telling her things like ‘I can’t wait to undress you/taste you/be inside you/etc.” is usually more than enough to set the mood.
Let her know what you like.
Nothing is sexier to a woman than a man who takes charge. By simply telling her what you like her mind will focus on pleasing you, which will lead to her getting turned on (don’t tell her what you don’t like until afterwards, focus on the positive when you’re in the moment).
Ask her what she likes.
Same concept as above. By simply figuring out what she likes, not only will she get turned on thinking about those things, but you’ll know EXACTLY what she likes!
This is hands down the most important factor when it comes to roleplay. Touch alone is powerful enough to get a woman dripping wet, and aching for you c**k to be inside her. BUT there’s a wrong way to touch her, and a right way. The wrong way could freak her out, and make you come off too strong. The right way will get her so uncontrollably turned on that having a big screaming O is almost inevitable. Click here right now to learn how to touch a woman in a way that not only wildly turns her on, but will also have her initiating.
Discover How to Achieve Harder Erections At Any Age & Avoid Any Unwanted “Shrinkage”…
Click Here to Discover 5 All-Natural Foods That Get You Hard-As-Steel FAST (Even If You Haven’t Had an Erection in Years)…
Hi, I’m AJ “Big Al” Alfaro, and I’ve been a leading figure on the internet male enhancement scene since 1997.
I’ve been featured on MSNBC, CNN, Salon.com, The “Jon Melichar Show,” The Boston Phoenix, PE Magazine, AltPenis Research, Weekly Wire, MEL Magazine, and Men’s Wellness News.
BRAND-NEW: This “Raging Bull Secret” That Helps You Last Longer In Bed Is Almost Sold Out (Click Here to Get It!)
I’m the author of several books, guides and newsletters, including “For Men Only”, “How To Get Incredibly Huge and Super-Strong Naturally” and my most recent release, the “Ultimate Guide to Male Enhancement.” <<< Click that link for a discount exclusive to Gotham Club readers–just use the code “GOTHAM10” for 10% off!
And today, I’m going to answer this question from a reader:
“How can you make ‘it’ more sensitive again and have better, longer-lasting erections if you’re older (50+)?”
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
For older men, health is a huge factor which needs to be taken into account.
If one has been sedentary and if cardiovascular fitness is poor, then there are going to be issues.
Poor health habits contribute to ED by way of lowering beneficial hormone levels and reducing venous sufficiency.
Less time spent getting quality erections leads to disuse, and this can even lead to shrinkage.
INSIDER SECRETS: This All-Natural 5-Food Formula Gives You Rock-Hard Erections (Click For The Recipe)…
The best thing one can do if this is the case is to begin exercising and dieting for a heart healthy lifestyle.
Male enhancement exercises will have little effect if one isn’t healthy enough to maintain a satisfactory erection due to poor health.
Stamina exercises–such as kegels and edging (also known as Stop and Starts) should be the main focus of male enhancement training.
And another thing…
A Smart Approach to Better Health for Better Erections
Good health is so important to male enhancement and sexual performance.
But sometimes it can be really hard to motivate yourself to make lifestyle changes that are beneficial to your health.
Even when you know that living healthier will lead to better erections…
Even when you’re well aware of the benefits you’ll get from a rocking and rolling sex life…
It can be really darned hard to change old habits.
I’m sure you have that one friend who wakes up at 4am to work out. And he probably seems insane.
If that sounds awful to you, don’t do it.
There’s a better way…
After all, you don’t want to make yourself totally miserable to get healthier.
Because, no matter how effective the latest workout or diet craze is, if you hate it, you’re not going to keep doing it.
When it comes to achieving better health, better erections, and better sexual performance, sustainability is key.
If you don’t enjoy your new rituals, you won’t stick with them, and you’ll soon lose your gains.
So start small.
First, find a physical activity you enjoy.
Maybe that’s walking the dog twice a day instead of once—morning and evening. Getting bored on your walks? Find a friend (or invite your partner) to come along.
Or try listening to podcasts, audiobooks, or music. That way you can be productive while getting healthy, too.
Instead of forcing yourself to do the same boring workout routine every day, opt for variety.
A lot of exercise classes (both in person or, especially at the moment, online) offer free trial periods, so you can try a lot of different styles without breaking the bank.
Try to find something you’re excited to do. If you’re dreading a workout or watching the clock waiting for it to end, chances are you won’t get long-term results because you’ll stop going.
When it comes to improving your health to get better erections, your mindset is just as important as your actions.
Don’t think of your new health routines as a punishment. Instead, think of them as positive steps to an exciting future.
Don’t think of exercise as a way to punish yourself for unhealthy habits in the past. Leave the past in the past.
Try to have the same outlook toward food:
Instead of forcing yourself to eat healthy food you dislike, take the time to cook delicious healthy recipes.
Did you grow up being forced to eat soggy vegetables because they were “good for you?”
Eating healthily doesn’t have to be a drag. Any food can be made nasty or delicious—it just depends how you cook it.
If you think you’re not a fan of healthy eating, try out a new cookbook, or some online recipes, and have fun finding new dishes you enjoy.
Think of your health mission as a journey, and your sex life will soon see the benefits…
One last thing…
Here’s Something Else You Can Try!
Supplements like fish oil have been shown to have a positive effect on nervous health… which can go a long way towards increasing penile sensitivity.
Something else you can try? Eat foods that support good blood flow.
Low blood flow is one of the most common causes of decreased penile sensitivity… (especially if you’re 50+)…
BUT there are certain foods in particular that have been shown to have a positive effect on circulation…
… which can REALLY do a lot for not just your sensitivity, but your hardness too.
(Which is great if you want the kind of solid-as-steel boners women go nuts for…)
For example? These 5 plant-based foods, which can have PROFOUND effects on your circulation… and penile health.
So here’s another video that shows you what these foods are… how to prepare them for MAX hardness right away…
… and where to get them all in one place:
Click here right now to learn exactly what they are!
P.S. The man who first discovered these foods is an ex-War vet who became a pornstar (and is currently the oldest acting porn star) after the war thanks to some of these foods… click here now to see his amazing story for yourself.
Click Here to Discover the Subtle 3-Touch Sequence That Gets Her Soaking Wet, Naked & On Top of You In Bed…
The world of modern love can be super confusing…
With terms like catfishing and benching being thrown around, it’s hard to know what to expect when meeting someone for a drink or having a casual hook-up.
And if you’re meeting any of your dates online, there are words people throw around in their profiles that don’t make a lot of sense, unless you have your PhD in dating…
TRENDING: If A Younger Woman Does This With Her Body It Means She Wants You Bad (Most Older Guys Totally Miss This!)
One of my close guy friends had just gotten out of a relationship and was dipping his toe back in the waters of dating. He said he thought he was wading in a kiddie pool, but it turned out he got hit by a tsunami of recent dating phenomena…
That’s why, as we approach the end of the (crazy!) year, I wanted to do a deep dive on all the most recent dating trends.
Sure, you know ghosting and gaslighting, but if you aren’t sure what’s so great about cuffing season, whether you want to date a white claw, and if being called a flashpanner is good or bad… you probably need to read on…
1) Cuffing Season
Cuffing season has been around for a while and you’ve probably heard this term as winter begins to approach.
This is the time when singles are on the prowl for partners to cuddle up with till around Valentine’s Day. It makes it easier than going outside in the cold air.
Who doesn’t want a buddy to share lazy snowy Sunday stay-in-bed mornings with…
Experts believe that people during the colder months actually crave the ‘warmth’ of a relationship, which is what makes this time of year perfect for snagging a hottie to share your sheets with.
And this is good news, because since women (especially) are looking to pair off, they’re moving more quickly into the bedroom, and are less likely to play games.
Ladies love a thick and luscious beard on their men and it seems that men have finally figured this out.
As a trick, men are now practicing beard-baiting, which is the act of growing out their facial hair in order to attract women. As you scroll through your social media and dating app accounts, you’ll notice a lot of the guys are posting pics of their hairy faces.
Now you know why.
It’s become especially popular as men are quarantining, and feel free to grow out their facial hair when they don’t have to go into an office every day.
As a woman, I don’t like to think we are that easily won over…but, a sexy beard definitely makes it hard to say ‘no.’
Just something for you to think about…
TRENDING: If A Hot Girl Does This With Her Body It Means She Wants You Bad (Most Older Guys Totally Miss This!)
3) Yellow Carding
Yellow Carding is a term taken from sports.
It’s basically when you call out a date for doing something bad. This can be a behavior or an action or it can be simply calling out a viewpoint that you oppose. Basically, you are giving them a straightforward penalty.
If you do this, get ready for the date to go downhill…
According to a survey done by the dating site, Plenty of Fish, 60% of singles have dealt with dial-toning in their dating lives.
Dial-toning is when numbers are exchanged, one person reaches out, and the other person never responds.
This can happen for a number of reasons such as the loss of interest or getting involved with someone new. No matter the reason, if this happens to you, don’t waste your energy tirelessly calling this Houdini, find someone new to dial.
It’s like an early cousin to ghosting…
5) White Clawing
There will always be those people who you find so steaming hot, but are extremely dull in every other way.
However, you stay with them because, god damn, they’re so hot!
This is called white clawing because just like the hard seltzer they are boring and basic.
Fleabagging is the act of always dating the same type of person. The wrong person.
If you find yourself constantly falling for the bad girl bartender and getting heartbroken, take note that you are fleabagging yourself and try dating someone a little more wholesome… or at least different…
A bad girl waitress? Lol…
Dating online and via apps can be totally overwhelming but that’s no reason to take it out on the matches that you actually want to create a connection with.
Whelming is the act of complaining about your other matches to a potential interest.
The goal of chatting with someone online is to develop a connection by making them feel special. They don’t want to hear about your other conversations, so keep them to yourself.
RESEARCH REVEALS: This “Potion” Gets Girls to Chase You (Click For The Recipe)…
Looking your best on a date is important. But, have you ever gotten showered and shaved and into your best suit only to be stood up?
That’s called being glamboozled and it sucks. Do this to a woman and you’ll probably lose your chance of seeing her again.
9) Virtual One-Night-Stand
Due to the pandemic, virtual one-night-stands have been at an all-time-high.
In order for people to get their rocks off via hook-up, video chats are now being used for some naughty deeds…BUT, only for one night. It’s a fun (and hotter) version of speed dating…
Everyone knows the story of the Strange Case of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson and that’s exactly where the dating term jekylling came from.
Jekylling is essentially when a person has two different sides. The first side can be super sweet, caring, and kind, but then another one that is the total opposite reveals itself.
Beware of these people… their true personality is ALWAYS closer to the nasty side…
Have you ever been Kanye’d?
This is when you go on a date with someone only to have them talk about themselves the entire time.
Can you say narcissist? You will never be able to get a word out about yourself.
Someone who is a flashpanner lives for the excitement of the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
They love the fiery makeouts, the intense sex, and the stimulating conversation, and flirty vibes.
But, when things start to get cool and you begin to get familiar with each other, they tend to back-off and disappear.
This isn’t always a bad thing… in fact, it can be exciting and hot. It’s just good to know what you’re getting into, before you fall for a flashpanner and get hurt.
Conversely, if you realize this is true about yourself, be upfront about it with women. If you say you like to flame fast and hot and move on, many women take this as a challenge… and then they can’t get mad at you when you move on…
Yes, there are still people who date people based off of their astrology signs. This is called type-casting. And, it doesn’t end there…
People who only date based on something like an astrology sign, a hair color, a Myers-Briggs personality test, or whatever, is a total type-caster and is consciously limiting their dating options.
The good news is, if you play a type-caster right, you can definitely get her to go against type. (Here’s how.)
BRAND-NEW: 7 Hot-As-Hell Sexts That Get Her to Come Over & Strip Down Naked For You…
According to a recent study 48%of people who date have experienced dating someone who adopted the same exact interests as them. In addition, 45% of singles admitted to doing this, themselves. This is called eclipsing.
There is no shame in trying a new hobby because a partner has an interest in it, but try to refrain from eclipsing. Stay true to who you are.
Similarly, if you’re dating someone who takes on all your likes, be wary. While some women truly love football and hot wings, if she’s just pretending and never does anything with you she likes, she’ll eventually snap and leave…
App dating is not for everyone, however, a lot of people are pressured to keep swiping away and tiring our thumbs to show that we are “trying” to find “the one.”
This is called obligaswiping and it’s totally not helping your dating life.
If apps aren’t for you, try something different. Don’t feel the need to keep those apps active.
There is no denying that a dog is total tail-bait. Women love guys with dogs. It shows that they are responsible, kind, and care about companionship.
However, some guys will go out of their way and dogfish a potential interest by lying about having a furry friend.
Be wary of doing this, because unless you’re looking for a one-night-stand, a relationship based on a lie will not go far.
If you haven’t been flatlined, then you obviously haven’t been actively dating or talking to potential interests.
Flatling is when you are struggling to keep the conversation alive and the other person isn’t putting in any effort.
How many times can you ask, “how was your day?” and get the same short answer without anything to go off of? Flatlining gets real old real fast.
It’s also a good sign that this is going nowhere. So unless she’s extremely hot and you (again) are just looking for a one-time hook-up, move along…
WARNING: These Shocking “Touch Tricks” Turn Hot Girls On & Make Them Want to Bang Your Brains Out (Don’t Use These Unless You Want Sex Right Away!)…
Breadcrumbing is basically the equivalent of stringing someone along. It’s when a potential partner reaches out here-and-there to keep you interested in them.
They can do this via text, social media, or calling.
Basically, these people are trying to keep their options open without committing to you or giving you the time you deserve.
Ignore them and move on.
Cause-playing happens with casual relationships. It is when casual relationships fizzle out but one of the parties of the relationship reaches out to the other after the fact.
The reach-out is usually to support a good cause such as a fundraiser or event.
Do not take cause-playing as an attempt for them to get back into your circle. It’s an attempt to get you to sponsor their jog-a-thon. Move on.
This is one of the worst, most uncomfortable, things to happen, especially in a new relationship.
Exoskeleton-ing is when an ex of your partner reaches out to you “to talk” or “warn you” about your partner.
This happens most often via social media, but phone calls and texts happen as well, if the ex can get a hold of your number.
The best thing to do in this situation is be calm and polite and then let your new love interest know what happened.
The last trend is new and based on cutting edge psych research.
It’s to do with creating powerful sexual attraction by working on a woman’s emotional “lizard brain”… and bypassing her everyday, intellectual “logical brain.”
You see, essentially we all have lizard brains.
It’s the part of our brains that just acts based on our primal needs,instincts, and desires.
And the quickest and easiest way to do it… is to follow these 3 very easy steps right here.
Follow them step-by-step… and you’ll be able to get right past that part of her brain that says “It’s too early to sleep with him”… “I’m a ‘good girl’”… or even “He’s too ________” (insert made up rule lol)… and work directly on her emotional brain…
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told a guy I’m not sleeping with him tonight, despite me aching for some action that night.
If you can get through a woman’s logical brain, and tap into her emotional brain she will DESPERATELY want to sleep with you. She literally won’t be able to help herself!
Here’s a short, free video showing you how Lizard-braining works to get a hot girl to come home with you the first night you meet her:
The probability that a person can cheat on a partner, depending on the duration of the relationship, varies between 40 and 70%. But, today, people are increasingly choosing to keep in touch through websites and chat apps instead of real dates, thanks to which a new form of infidelity has begun to spread rapidly.
There is a whole industry of sites like Ladadate that are full of Slavic women and that serve people who have regular real partners but are looking for virtual relationships. Moreover, statistics show that 69% of men and 47% of women surveyed do not consider online affairs to be cheating and a threat to their monogamous relationships. Let us take a look at some aspects of this rapidly gaining popularity phenomenon.
1. Acquaintances Without Dating
On the Internet, you can find numerous stories about virtual romances with people who are attractive and pleasant until the moment when it comes to a real date. After that, they disappear. Among these online lovers, a significant proportion of people with long-term family experience and children, as well as unmarried people who are behind their regular partners’ back when they are asleep or absent, are in a distant relationship with someone else through apps. They are not going to develop their connections further than the Internet, but they do not want to do without them.
2. The Place of an Online Affair in Real Relationships
Most people would consider it cheating, but not John Portmann, assistant professor at the University of Virginia and author of In Defense of Lust. He says virtual relationships can be helpful. He sees these new types of infidelity as a safety valve in traditional monogamous relationships. They can be compared to the birth control pill that prevents unwanted pregnancies. Only in this case, virtual betrayal insures against real infidelity or divorce.
In his essay Conversation Isn’t Cheating, Portmann argues that if we assume that extramarital affairs no longer exist in real life, and sex outside of someone’s relationship is just a high-tech flirtation that promotes healthy sexual release, then it is comparable to erotic literature. Why not give such infidelity a place in a monogamous relationship? It preserves sexual exclusivity for a real partner and requires a titanic power of imagination for a virtual one.
3. Honesty is the Best Policy
While the Internet has blurred the line between loyalty and infidelity, old-fashioned prim honesty wins. If you really need someone besides a real person with whom you would like to flirt on the Internet, discuss this with your regular partner. If you stick to certain boundaries, you may get permission, and your better half may want to do the same. But above all, be honest.
4. Software Flirt
Since 2016, several major tech companies have introduced bot platforms that are being touted as a new frontier in our interaction with services on the Internet. According to roboticist David Levy, we are at the beginning of a new sexual revolution, in which intelligent machines will bear us romantic company online. He believes that in a few years, there will be sexual bots that have complex intelligence, including encyclopedic knowledge and a whole range of emotions.
In any case, it is up to you to decide if virtual flirting is cheating or not.
Have you ever wondered why you keep attracting the wrong men who just treat you bad and disrespect you? Have you ever been in a toxic relationship which destroyed your self-esteem and self-value? Yet, you didn’t see it while you were in the midst of such a bad relationship with your partner.
This blindness left you feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Why wouldn’t it? You are an intelligent woman who has built a successful career, and on the outside, it looks like you have everything going great for you. Why can’t you see the reality just for some stupid reasons?
It is Time For Some Hot Truth
The key reason you keep repeating this egregiously painful pattern in your love life is that YOU are treating YOU bad and disrespecting YOU. What happens is you just keep attracting a mirrored relationship that you have with yourself into your love life. The success that you have accomplished in your career or other areas of your life has nothing to do with it.
You having money in a bank account is not indicative or a reflection of an amazingly intimate and nurturing relationship with yourself. The reason as to why your ex was abusive, never paid attention to you, disregarded your needs, or cheated on you is because you have been doing it all to yourself. He was just a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself.
Career as a Band-Aid
Quite on the contrary, having success in other areas of your life makes it all so confusing for you to navigate through your love life. In your career, you don’t need to be as vulnerable as you have to be in your love life. Although, if you want to have a passionate and respectful relationship. But here is the secret, the only way for you to have and create a fantastic relationship or marriage is to date yourself for a little bit.
What I see happening in so many women’s’ lives is that they’re so afraid of loneliness that they are in a constant need of a man. They want this man to be capable enough to make them feel complete, desired, feminine or loved.
Stop Chasing The Secret That Doesn’t Exist
There are no shortcuts to building a healthy relationship with a man. You need to feel your own self. Feel the inner girl stuck inside you, who is crying for attention and love from you. But, what you have been doing instead is chasing that attention from men. Although, you should know that it doesn’t work this way. It is because of this reason that you still feel so empty. The person who can give it all to that little girl inside of you is no one else but YOU and ONLY YOU.
Women keep jumping from one relationship to another without taking the time to date themselves, without taking the time to heal and feel the pain. You use your new relationship as a Band-Aid to suppress the feeling of your broken heart. You also cover the pain from childhood trauma that you had experienced, which was triggered by a breakup or divorce.
Are You Whoring Your Love?
Dating is great if you come from a place of abundance, where you love another person because you have an excess of love from loving yourself. No one tells you about the two places from which most people from their love life: marriage or intimate relationships. Let us use half full or empty glass of bubbles as a metaphor.
A first position is a place of abundance. Your glass is full. You take the time to love, accept and trust yourself. Finally, you have so much of self-love that it starts spilling out of the glass. This is where you decide to share it with another person by creating a relationship where you give, celebrate and grow. Unfortunately, this is not how 99% of us build our love lives.
Deep Dive Into Reality of Love Life
The second and more frequent position that most people set off from to build their relationship is scarcity. Your glass is half full. Instead of filling it yourself, you want a man to fill your empty glass for you. You need a man to feel complete, desired and wanted. It is because of your desire to feel complete; you start a relationship.
As a result, you make your intimate relationship a place to take. It turns out as a business venture, rather than being a spiritual and sacred union of two souls. Being in such a weak position, we start whoring for love. Although, by behaving in this manner, you will never feel worthy, loved and alive enough.
If you are in the second position, then you will probably start dating. You will stay in a wrong relationship simply because you are too afraid to be alone. It is exacerbated by the fact that time is flying and almost half of your life is gone now. You are probably even more afraid to stay alone than ever before. Finally, you start living in a constant state of fear and loneliness. A state in which no success in your career will ever compensate for the loss that you bear.
As a result, you start facing many consequences, which are obviously quite painful: broken heart, breakup, divorce, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and ongoing emotional trauma.
Divorce or heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences we’ll ever go through. What perpetuates this pain is getting stuck in the past when your life is actually moving on. Today, I’ll be sharing the top 3 reasons women can’t let go of the past after a heartbreak.
Pushing Him or Hurting Yourself?
This is a big one. When a heartbreak comes out of the blue, you can’t help but turn into a dragon, who opens her mouth and it’s only fire that comes out. When we’re filled with “he’s wrong/I’m right” anger, it can be all too easy to fall down the slippery slope of holding on to that anger and unforgiveness as a tool for vengeance. Or if you’re going through a divorce, writing to your lawyer every single minute can turn into a bill, which equivalents to a brand-new Range Rover.
Get clear on your motivation before you go the route of punishing your ex and slow death for yourself.
When I worked with Jennifer, she didn’t care about anything in her first year of marriage. But it was like an oxygen for her to make sure that John shared her pain. She was on the mission to not make his life easy. Through our work together, she realised the detrimental impact the revenge had on HER happiness. She was trapping herself in the cage.
Looking back, she regrets allowing her emotions to dictate so many decisions. One day she told me, “I believed that I was stretching out the divorce to punish Jonh. I didn’t want him to get off the hook so easily. But I was really punishing and hurting myself. He’d moved on.“
Bad-Mouthing Yourself or Your Ex?
Sarah was furious to hear that David asked for a divorce after his affair came out. She couldn’t think straight. She wanted to destroy everything and everyone because of the injustice and unfairness she felt. All she could see was that he was abandoning her and their two kids for someone else.
As soon as daughters started splitting their time between their mom’s and dad’s home, Sarah couldn’t help but interrogate the girls every time they got back from the dad’s. Sarah took on a role of communicating the anger and resentment she couldn’t express to David to the girls. One night when Sarah was pouring her anger out on girls, they started to cry. They said, “I’m sorry mom, but I don’t know how to answer your questions anymore. Either way I’m wrong.”
Sarah learned the importance of not bad-mouthing her kid’s father. Because it drags the pain with you. What might be an angry outburst in the beginning of the breakup can turn into a lifelong pattern of not letting go.
Remind yourself not to burden your kids or friends with the details of what had happened over and over again. You completely have the right to share what needs to be shared but don’t talk about the other woman. Now it’s the time to focus on yourself, not on other women.
When Reasons For Leaving Aren’t Good Enough
Haven’t we all been there? When heartbreak comes from nowhere, you can’t help but look for the reasons inside because the real reason doesn’t sound good enough to break the relationship. You still want to save your marriage. At some point, you realise that you’ve been doing everything for everyone – helping everyone out.
A few years later you discover that everything is on your shoulders: the house, the kids, the garden, and family panning…. you’re exhausted. But instead of seeing the situation for what it is, you start blaming others for not appreciating the things or self-sacrifice you did for them.
No one will give you a medal for not loving yourself. The world is filled with women who initially started to put everyone else before themselves only to find themselves doing everything and running on empty. If you have hard times dealing with guilt when taking time for yourself, then read this about self-love.
You let everyone need something from you. Now it’s time to do something for you. Now it’s time to learn the value of asking for help. Reach out to me to help you get the life and love you want faster and less painful. You’ll quickly discover that if you turn to professionals like myself you’ll get to the bottom of things faster.
Seeking professional support during early months of your divorce or breakup makes it possible for you to help your kids, nurture your business, and be a better friend in ways you could never have alone.
Now that you’ve got a deep insight into what’s been holding you back, let me know what aha moments you had. Plus, share what stopped you from realizing all of that on your own? What fears?
The fear of facing reality will go away if you have a professional to guide you to the HOW.
The best advice is to seek the best advice. Don’t rely on your best friends to help you. Seek professional help. It’ll save you tears, time in pain, sleepless nights, and bottles of wine.
Have you ever felt being taken for granted or taken advantage of in your intimate relationships, sex life, marriage, work or friendships? Do you ever find yourself giving and giving, and then when it’s your time to ask for a small favour those TAKERS disappear. Then, you can’t help but start feeling alone in spite of having friends, spouse, partner or coworkers. You are not alone trying to be a people pleaser.
When you keep attracting TAKERS into your life, you can’t help but feel LONELY in this world full of people. This stops now. The time has come for you to stop being a people pleaser.
It starts with loving and respecting yourself first. Can you do that? Self-love is a foundation for any relationship you will ever have in your life. Therefore, the step #1 to stop being a people pleaser and doormat is to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
Step 1. Take the Responsibility
I know you might be wondering how can you take the responsibility for people who take you for granted and use you. Even the way you word the question puts you in a position of powerlessness. You need to change it. You can waste years, months or days blaming people for the way your life turned out or for what you can’t do in your life, but it will not take you anywhere.
In fact, the only person you won’t be able to change would be them and the only person getting affected will be you. You will make your life totally miserable in this entire exercise. This pattern will force you to seek people’s approval even more and that is why you shall start practicing self-love by loving yourself more. It is a baby step process but goes a long way.
Once you have claimed responsibility over your life and choices you make in your life, it’s time to move on to the second step to stop being a people pleaser.
Step 2. What Are You Doing That Attracts Them into Your Life?
Its a cliche saying, but it doesn’t takes away a valuable lesson it has to offer. They say it takes two to tango. Isn’t it true in this case as well? Try to look at your love relationship from a distance. Observe yourself and note down your behaviour as if you were watching a movie. By removing emotions from a situation, you can see it for what it is and decipher patterns that you fall into, which sabotage healthy relationships.
You are teaching people how to interact with you.
It is because of this reason that the practice of self-love and loving yourself helps you stop being people pleasers. Love thyself, before you love someone else. If you don’t respect yourself and don’t take time off when you need it then you shouldn’t expect people to do that for you, towards you. Do you give yourself the time when your health calls for it, or when your energy levels are depleting down!
What are Your Signals to Invite Interaction?
I used to be the greatest GIVER of all
I remember myself giving and giving in my personal relationships, but when my time came to ask for a puny favour – my friends or collaborators disappeared. It felt lonely, to say the least. I was blaming people for being pathological takers and their sense of entitlement.
I Realized Everyone is Not that Bad
So, I stopped and started pondering what could be the reason behind such a behaviour. It took a lot of bravery to do an introspection and take responsibility for my contribution towards my own relationships.
An AHA Moment of My Life
One day, I realised that I was training people to take advantage of me, although not all of them, but still too many. I figured out that I would meet normal people who cared about me and then train them to become the real TAKERS.
Today, I am going to share these patterns with you. Don’t forget to ask yourself and see if they resonate with you.
Tip 1: Do Not Avoid Questions, Face Them
As a registered sex therapist, marriage counsellor and self-love coach, I am naturally gifted with the art of asking questions. It imparts me the guidelines to help people open new doors of opportunities for themselves, but I failed when tried to answer the same questions for myself. I thought my problems didn’t matter. May be, other people had their own problems, or no one cared about what I had to say. So, I was avoiding questions and directing the conversation to a speaker when a question was posed to me. I was very good at it.
Tip 2: Listen Quietly, Contribute to Conversation
What makes any conversation great and resourceful is the contribution made from all the participants. Have you ever had a conversation where it was so organic that both of you contributed equally to the conversation and the next thing you know – it has been 3 hours. Time flew by and you didn’t even realized.
When all you do is listen quietly, you turn a conversation into a monologue. Of course, there are deep issues behind adopting this behaviour. Maybe, you thought that your story was not worthy of being told, or you had nothing to offer to the conversation. Fear of not being good enough gets you even here. When you get afraid to say something, thinking that it may make you appear stupid or uneducated, and you let your fear dictate your choice of actions.
Tip 3: Don’t Always Say “I’m Good”, Express Your Feelings
Oh, boy! I was one of those people once. Whenever someone asked me how I was doing, the answer was always “GREAT!” What could naturally happen when you use “great” 365 days a year, even when it is just the opposite of what is actually happening into your life?