The Sex Smoothie For Stronger Erections And Increased Pleasure

Click Here to Discover An All-Natural Ancient Recipe That Gets You Hard-As-Steel FAST (Even If You Haven’t Had an Erection in Years)…

A lot of guys assume that there’s only one way to give yourself that “bedroom” boost women crave:

A trip to the doctor for some weird “prescription.”

And honestly, I used to believe this myself… but what if this isn’t the case at all?

It might sound too good to be true at first–especially because of all the misinformation out there about achieving solid and reliable hard-ons.

Guys are being told first to take prescription medications that have wild side effects… and some are even talked into getting surgery.

What a load of B.S.!!!

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So I went out, did a ton of testing on the most natural ways to help guys stay rock-hard in the bedroom.

And what I discovered is that by combining certain foods, you can get the stronger, longer-lasting erections you crave… without any of the nasty side effect.

I’ll explain how in a second–but first, let me introduce myself.

Hi, I’m Ruwando. As a sex expert and as part of a new series, I’m sharing my best pieces of advice to help you boost your boners the natural way (so you can be the guy she craves in the bedroom).

And today, I’m giving you my exclusive smoothie recipe that will boost your boners and allow you to last longer in bed naturally.

Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…

I’m here today to give you a brand new, all natural smoothie recipe. It’s gonna help you get stronger erections.

It’s really easy to make and it’s a great way to start off your day ’cause it’s delicious, and nutritious, and great for the bedroom.

And you know, it might seem kind of weird at first… but it’s gonna make you feel like you’re back in high school getting comical erections at random moments.

Every time you see a hot girl or when the wind brushes against your pants, you’ll find yourself full mast.

INSIDER SECRETS: This All-Natural 5-Food Formula Gives You Rock-Hard Erections (Click For The Recipe)…

So For This Smoothie, You’re Gonna Need The Following:

One container of coconut water, one pint of watermelon, one cup of pomegranate, one peach cut up into slices minus the pit, and a cup of strawberries.

Here’s a little background on all the ingredients.

Most of these compounds in them have things in them that are proven to help with bloodflow.

1) Coconut Water

The first, coconut water. Coconut water has high amounts of potassium and magnesium.

A study in The Journal of Endocrinology and Medicine indicated that potassium helps regulate the salt in your body.

Too much salt can lead to hypertension, and all sorts of bad circulatory system things–which can lead to a wimpier, weaker erection.

Magnesium also helps with muscle and nerve function. There’s a study done in 2006 by BJU International … Is that a real university?

Come on … and low magnesium, can cause a state of premature ejaculation. So, if you want to last longer, it seems like coconut water is a good thing to have.

Magnesium, if you’ve ever taken an Epsom salt bath, you know that it helps with muscle recovery and muscle function ’cause Epsom salt is full of magnesium.

That’s what it is.

2) Watermelon

In 2008, researchers at Texas A&M found that watermelon has a lot of amino acid in it called citrulline.

Through the body’s natural processes, this is converted into nitric oxide, which you know if you’ve seen muscle builder pills. Nitric oxide increases your strength *down there.*

So, you can be a little buff in the bedroom and have a hard d!ck.

THE LATEST: 3 Rough Sex Moves She’ll BEG You for More Of (Even If She’s A “Good Girl”)…

3) Strawberries

Strawberries, same idea as peaches. They’re also delicious. Strawberries are full of that Vitamin C.

It’s gonna help with that nitric oxide production.

4) Peaches

Peaches. Peaches are delicious.

They’re also high in Vitamin A and Vitamin C.

Vitamin C is especially great, because it not only will prevent you from getting a cold–but it’s also involved in the process that helps with nitric oxide production.

That means, you guessed, it’s gonna help the bloodflow. Which is, of course, gonna help you in the bedroom.

WARNING: These 7 Hot-as-Hell Sexts Get Her to Come Over & Strip Naked in 30 Minutes Or LESS…

5) Pomegranate

A UNC study in 2014 showed that not only does pomegranate extract help boost a person’s bloodflow… again, bloodflow is important.

Blood goes into your d!ck, makes it hard … but it also increases athletic performance and stamina.

So, not only will it help you get it up, it’ll help your stamina for those marathon sessions or for an actual marathon.

Hell, even if you don’t have a penis, this smoothie is probably good for you, especially if you’re trying to get your swole on.

sex smoothie for stronger erections
After trying our sex smoothie for stronger erections, check out the bonus benefits of these boner boosting foods…

Bonus Recipe: 5 “Pornstar-Approved” Foods for Better Boners TONIGHT…

Have you heard of the “Anti-Viagra Movement”?

I first heard about it when I was interviewing this male pornstar… and he confessed that he & many of his co-stars now flat-out refuse to take Viagra… (because of the side effects and whatnot)…

…so I asked him what he does to boost his stamina when he needs to stay at “full-mast”… and he told me:

He eats this combination of 5 blood flow-boosting foods before his shoots (almost like a “snack” haha).

Now, these foods are pretty common, which surprised me… (I was expecting him to mention some weird supplement like “horny goat weed,” but nope… these are all foods you can find at your local supermarket)…

…though when combined, they can apparently boost your blood flow extremely quickly… which can lead to longer-lasting boners, and a stamina boost as well. 😉

I hate to admit this, but it might even be more powerful than my “sex smoothie”…

Here’s the recipe if you want to find out for yourself:

Discover 5 “Pornstar-Approved” Foods for Better Boners TONIGHT…

The “Miracle Ingredient” for More Testosterone: How Does It Work?

sex smoothie for stronger erections
Boost your testosterone with these proven foods…

It might sound crazy:

Can one simple vitamin really have such a significant impact on your testosterone levels?

According to this recent study in The Journal of Steroid Biochemistry and Molecular Biology… the answer is “yes.”

While the science behind it isn’t completely understood, there are a few possible explanations for this.

Apparently, male testicles have Vitamin D receptors on them, which suggests a link between your sexual health and how much Vitamin D you have.

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In addition to that, many studies have linked lower Vitamin D levels to a host of issues, including:


Weight gain…

Several cancers…

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Basically, Vitamin D helps keep you healthy. And that includes sexually healthy as well.

So if you’d like to get more Vitamin D for that quick testosterone boost, what’s the best way to do it?

We found 3 fast & easy ways to increase your Vitamin D intake naturally… here’s what they are:

1) Eat More of These Foods

Many foods out there are good sources of Vitamin D… though some foods contain a lot more Vitamin D than others.

So if you’d like to naturally increase your Vitamin D intake, consider eating more of the following:

  • Eggs (particularly the yolks)…
  • Cheese…
  • Milk…
  • Yogurt…
  • Beef…
  • And fish.

Of course, a lot of these foods may be high in things you don’t want, such as fat and cholesterol. So it’s always best to eat them in moderation.

But changing what you eat isn’t the only way to increase your Vitamin D.

So if you’d like even more of a natural boost… then just try this:

2) Spend More Time in The Sun

You may have heard this before, but getting a certain amount of sunlight every day can help to naturally increase your Vitamin D levels.


Well, when UV-B rays from the sun hit your bare skin, a chemical reaction occurs. And as a result of this reaction, your skin cells produce more Vitamin D.

But just how much time in the sun is necessary to get your daily dose (or more) of D?

THE LATEST: If She Does This With Her Body It Means She Wants You BAD (Most Men Totally Miss This!)

According to some experts, you only need to spend about 10 minutes outside to get it!

However, there is one caveat:

While this is true in the summertime months, depending on where you live, the sun may not be able to give you what you need in the wintertime.

So if you live north of Atlanta, Georgia… or you don’t spend that much time in the sun… then you may want to consider this next natural Vitamin D-boosting strategy:

The Ultimate “Sex Smoothie”: 5 Ingredients for Stronger Erections TONIGHT
Try using this all natural formula to boost your libido…

3) Take A Natural Supplement

The final, and most obvious, way you can quickly increase your intake of Vitamin D…. is to take a natural supplement.

Of course, there are dozens of supplements out there to choose from… and many of them have super confusing labels… so how do you pick the best one?

In my experience, it’s best to look for a supplement that contains at least 100% of your daily value (or DV) of Vitamin D… and generally speaking, the more “natural” the ingredients, the better.

And in addition to Vitamin D, there are some other natural supplements you can take to complement your newfound supply of testosterone.

Take this one for example. It’s perfect for a more powerful bedroom “boost,” since it seems to help with:

  • Getting fully hard whenever & wherever you want…
  • Lasting longer in bed…
  • And generally having the sexual “stamina” that most women desire.

(Of course, there are also prescriptions for that… though unless you’d like to risk some nasty side effects, it’s best to stay away from them).

This supplement is also great because the ingredients come from “everyday” foods… though they are highly specific, and work to boost your blood flow *down there*…

…so after you take it, you can get harder faster… and stay harder for longer too. 🙂

This short video will show you what it is & how to get it:

Want Harder, Longer-Lasting Erections? Then Try This All-Natural Supplement For Men…

[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on January 31, 2021.]

How To Attract a Sex Freak Who Wants to Bang You 10x A Day

Click Here to Discover the Subtle 3-Touch Sequence That Gets Her Soaking Wet, Naked & On Top of You In Bed…

Hey. It’s Glenn Pearce and we’re back again for Ask Glenn Anything questions.

I’m really happy about all the guys who wrote in. There are so many wonderful questions, so let’s get right into it.

Today we’ve got a question from Leon.

Leon writes:

WARNING: These Shocking “Touch Tricks” Turn Hot Girls On & Make Them Want to Bang Your Brains Out (Don’t Use These Unless You Want Sex Right Away!)…

Hey man, I just made an amazing discovery. This girl I like in my grad school class seems normal enough, but I have it from some reliable sources that she’s a freak in bed.

We’re talking she wants to f*ck five times a day, makes it her life’s work to ensure that the guy she’s with has drained balls constantly, et cetera. Great, right?

Only problem is since finding this out, I’ve gone out of my comfort zone and tried to talk more openly sexually with her, and she either doesn’t react or kind of turns away. She might be blushing, or she might be disgusted. I don’t know which.

How do I hookup with this girl and make it her life’s work to drain my balls?”

Man, Leon, interesting.

Let me jump right into it:

Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…

How do you hookup with her?

I mean you haven’t yet, so I would say go on a date with her.

Maybe have some drinks, get out there.

I mean there are women out there who have this insatiable desire.

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Some people like to call them sex addicts. Some people like to call them whatever they want, but there are men and women that have this desire, that just need to have sex multiple times a day.

Being in the dating industry, I’ve met a lot of other people… and I’ve met a lot of coaches who have this problem where they just have to f*ck all the time.

I like to get it on, but I’m like a once or twice a day type of guy.

I’ve been with a few girls that want to f*ck six, seven times a day, and I’m like… “I’m not that guy. Go f*cking find a guy. It ain’t me. I like to have it once, twice on a really good a day, and that’s all you’re going to ever get and that’s it.”


Put Yourself In The “Right” Kind Of Situation (Where Sex Can Happen Naturally)…

My advice to you would be like, first of all, put yourself in a position or a situation where sex can happen with this woman.

If her sex drive is that high, chances are she’s not super selective.

I’m going to rewind the question a little bit, because I want to go back a little bit and see.

You said, “I’ve gone out of my comfort zone and tried to talk more openly sexual with her.”

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Like yeah, all right, good for you. You went out of your comfort zone and tried to talk openly sexual.

I mean, dude, talk is cheap. Actions. You have to get out of your comfort zone by making a move.

Like, what are you just going to be like, “Oh, so I like to have sex 10 times a day,” and you’re going to hope she’s like…

“Me too! Here are my t*ts and let’s f*ck.” That’s not the way women respond.


How To Spark Real Sexual Desire In Her…

You’re going to get to her, to the root of her sexual desires, by sparking sexual desire, and interest, and attraction in her.

She’s not going to be like, “Oh, we have the same commonality of this and sex,” and be like, “I should f*ck this guy.” That’s not the way they work.

Go out on a date with her. Have fun. Play some beer pong, strip poker. I don’t know what it’s going to take or what you do, how old you are or whatever.

But I would say you’ve got to go out on a date with this girl and try to escalate.

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Don’t do dinner. That’s a horrible way to build sexual attraction and escalate on a date.

Go to a lounge, or go to a quiet little bar, and just have some fun with her, man.

If neither of you drink, I don’t care. Go out and play some miniature golf or go bowling. Find something to do, something that’s going to really raise her state a little bit.

Do less talking and a lot more moves. Take more action.

Here’s how:

sex freak

The BIGGEST Myth About Women And Sex…

… is that women DON’T want sex as much as men.

First off it’s total bullsh*t, and it really messed with me for a long time.

The reality is that women want sex just as much, if not more, than men do… and science backs me up.

A major study found that more than HALF of American women would happily put out on a first date… “under the right circumstances.”

(And that’s out of all American women, not just the nymphos and secret sex freaks)

But what are the “right” circumstances?

Well she has to feel wanted, sexy and aroused… and in my experience by far the best way to do that… is to use your touch.

Because if she’s a woman with a high sex drive, then she’s going to be VERY responsive to even small, subtle touches like this…

She’ll do things like bite her lip… and give you this look like she wants rip your clothes off…

… and if you keep touching her in the right way, at the right time (your timing is crucial here)

… she’ll get SO turned on, that she may not even be able to wait until the end of the night to have sex with you…

… so don’t be surprised if she pulls you into the nearest bathroom, or invites you to “take a ride” in her car:

Click here to see how it’s done.

Get Girls Without Spending Money With These Simple Tips

get girls without spending money
Learn how to get girls without spending money…

Click here to Discover 3 Shocking Under-The-Radar Touches That Turn Hot Girls On & Get Them to Kiss YOU First…

“What makes a woman say no before you even start?”

Most men might answer with the classics:

“Too short,” “too bald,” “fat,” “inexperienced,” or “weak”… though there is one response that is even more classic than all the rest:

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Or rather, lack thereof.

This one is timeless, and for a reason.

And so today we’re going to get to the bottom of why women are so attracted to money and how to get girls without spending money.

So without further ado let’s handle what is probably the biggest, baddest and realest excuse for why she doesn’t like you… and why she likes that other (short, fat, bald) guy.

Why Do Women REALLY Like Men With Money?

“This one’s real, David.” Most of my clients tell me…

I mean, it’s a fact. You either have it or you don’t, and you can’t pretend to have it if you don’t!

There’s no question–girls prefer a guy with money, all else being equal.

OK, OK!! You’re right.

Girls prefer a guy with money… all else being equal.

All else is NEVER equal, though, is it?

Women–having WAY more social experience than you (in general) know this even better than you do.

The truth is–and you can find out more if you listen when she speaks, rather than just nodding your head–what she likes about money is some feeling it gives her that is not actually from the money.

Here are some examples of the diverse, sometimes even contradictory feelings that money gives, so you can realize that they are not actually real… AND they can be produced without money.

1) Freedom

There is a feeling–and it’s not unrealistic–that with more money, you (and she by extension) would be free to think, do and say what you want.

This is different from the opportunity to have experiences–I’m talking about the freedom to do things that other people can do, but wouldn’t for fear of censure or punishment.

In fact, this freedom always exists. Money only does one or more of these things:

a) It makes people’s unconventional thoughts and unpopular actions public.

This is, of course, so that we can notice them and envy their fearless–free–ability to think and do.

b) It compensates for punishment and censure.

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A person feels, “I don’t care if people don’t like what I do or say, because (basically) I have more money than they.”

This circular logic is natural. The money does NOT provide freedom.

c) It magically (halo effect) makes marginal behavior and thoughts acceptable.

This is true in the sense that, “I (and other people) like this person, so these behaviors are less unlikeable than I thought.”

(It’s kind of like a phrase you may have heard me steal, “Change her mood, not her mind.”)

This last one comes closest to the feeling people have about the freedom that money brings.

2) Fun

Money can bring more fun–especially if that’s what you spend it on.

Fun obviously doesn’t require money, however.

Is there any way I can demonstrate that assertion? Well, children constantly demonstrate this truth.

While money can buy toys (and it’s certainly not the only way to get them), money cannot buy fun.

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Thus far, I have not encountered a child under one who prefers a purchased toy over the keys you use to get into your house, or under two who prefers any thing to your mobile phone.

Not to mention RIGHT now I’m on a ski vacation in Breckenridge and it’s super expensive.

But there’s no way I’m having more FUN than the 50 or so university students who got a package deal of probably half what was spent for me.

Fun is a lot of things besides cost, and while many fun things can be purchased, and many purchased things can be fun; money doesn’t mean fun and fun doesn’t mean money.

3) Safety

If you have money, most women think, they are safer.

You can pay for certain safety precautions–like gates and bars and exclusivity and alarm systems and bodyguards.

Of course, crime goes to where the money is… and danger is not merely a function of circumstance, financial or otherwise.

I needn’t list the murdered rich people, the plane crashed celebrities, the helicopter crashes and speedboat crashes and car crashes that claim their lives with similar (though more favorable odds) to everyone else.

(You can always try using one of these 3 innocent touches to turn her on fast.)

The truth is, safety is a feeling.

And while money is often, in a woman’s mind, a shortcut to safety… the feeling doesn’t come from it, nor require it.

Pay attention to what she’s looking for, and you can make her feel safe.

4) Peace Of Mind

Basically, a lot of women–this is so true–feel like having money, or talking to a guy with money, means that they’ll have peace of mind.

“Whatever we do will be fun and safe” (see above)…

“I won’t have to worry about anything”…

“He’ll handle things”…

“My friends will envy me”…

“We’ll eat well”…

“And if things go really well, I’ll be comfortable for the rest of my life.”

Is it true?

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Do you think it’s people without money that are lining up for antidepressants and lining the pockets of the pharmaceutical industry?

I’m not arguing against medicine for improving people’s lives…

But please agree with me that anxiety, depression, insecurity and other states lacking peace of mind are not unheard of in those who have money.

In fact, while money may buy quality drugs–legal or illegal–drugs do NOT produce peace of mind, even when they mimic it.

In fact, you don’t need to fulfill any of these desires–freedom, fun, safety and peace of mind–in order to be attractive with or without money.

You need to do something else, and I’ll show you the key to getting girls without spending money below:

get girls without spending money
Get girls without spending money and get laid fast with these simple tips…

And Here’s How This Will Get You Laid a LOT More…

Like I mentioned above… men who have money might get some women more easily, but that doesn’t mean they’re getting laid.

Money doesn’t put in any of the work for you.

Cash isn’t going to lean in for the kiss… it won’t lead her to your bedroom… and it sure as hell isn’t going to get her naked and screaming your name in bed.

That’s why there are quite a few rich guys who really struggle with women. They think their money should do all the work… but it doesn’t.

You know what will get you laid though?

I’ll give you a hint… make her feel something different. Change her mood, not her mind.

I mention that saying a lot because when you can change a woman’s mood, it’s an incredible power to have…

It’s how guys like me (and a lot of my clients), who don’t have tons of money, get to sleep with really hot model-type girls… who otherwise wouldn’t even give us the time of day…

And it’s the secret to making a woman feel excited to be with you, to the point that she’s genuinely turned on… and eager to have sex with you.

(Even if you haven’t spent one SINGLE penny on her, and never intend to)

And here’s the kicker… you can easily change a woman’s mood, and sleep with her without saying much of anything to her at all:

Click here now to see how.

P.S. I’ve found THIS works especially well to get younger women in bed…

[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on January 26, 2021.]

3 Tongue Tricks for MAX Pleasure…

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Hey, what’s up? It’s another episode of Ask Ruwando, and I’m Ruwando here for Gotham Club.

And this question is from Tom:

“Do you have any tips for eating out girls to make them come harder or faster?”

Great question, Tom, and I think this is something many men are curious about.

THE LATEST: 3 Rough Sex Moves She’ll BEG You for More Of (Even If She’s A “Good Girl”)…

So today, I want to show you the truth about how to truly satisfy a woman when you’re going down on her.

No bulls*it, no beating around the bush (no pun intended).

So let’s get started!

[adning id=”10065″]

Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…

Thanks for the question, Tom.

First thing I’m going to say and I have to say this right off the bat, I need to reframe the question.

Because if you’re going at this, Tom, and I think a lot of guys do from a goal-oriented framework, you’re already setting yourself up to fail.

If you’re trying to get her to come faster–if you’re trying to get her to come at all, you’re going to put pressure on yourself.

That’s going to put you in your head, even if you know the perfect techniques… you’re probably gonna mess up.

You’re probably gonna miss the cues. You’re probably gonna be a little off.

And secondly, women are very intuitive.

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If you’re putting pressure on yourself to have some sort of outcome, she’s probably gonna pick that up.

And either she’s going to be annoyed, or she’s gonna feel pressure on herself and that’s not gonna be good.

If she’s feeling pressure on herself she’s almost certainly not gonna have an orgasm. And if she does it’s probably not gonna be a good orgasm.

Like if a woman’s putting pressure on you to do something to get hard in a certain way you’re probably gonna lose your erection. No one wants to feel pressure, especially in the bedroom.

So I’d say instead of trying to get her to have a certain kind of orgasm instead make your goal not a goal.

I mean it’s a bit counterintuitive, but make your goal to just have enjoyment and pleasure, moment to moment.

(You can also try out one of these BDSM moves to make her orgasm fast)

Because that is the best way to have her have big orgasms. You want to go moment to moment feeling the sensation.

So instead of eating her out to try to get her to orgasm, I’d say eat her out in a way that makes it feel as good as possible for both you and her in the moments.

And that comes down to a term I bring up in a lot of videos which is the resonant stroke.

[adning id=”11082″]

What Do I Mean When I Say “Resonant Stroke”?

If you don’t know what that is, resonance you can think of like a wine glass.

Like when you run your finger on a wine glass at a certain frequency it causes the glass to resonate cause you’ve matched frequencies and it causes the glass to sing.

So in every moment of sex, there is a resonant speed, location and pressure that allows her body to sing.

You’re matching what she’s feeling and that’s what’s gonna allow the most sensation.

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If you can keep doing this moment to moment, the sensation will get bigger and bigger and bigger… and that’s what leads to the orgasms.

I’m talking about the biggest possible orgasms you’ve ever witnessed–squirting and stuff like that.

So within that, I have 3 tricks to help you find that resonant stroke and give her as much pleasure as possible while you’re going down on her:

[adning id=”11086″]

1) Pay Attention

The first thing is to pay attention.

A woman’s body will tell you exactly how it wants to be touched if you can pay close enough attention.

This goes for her lips when you’re kissing…  it goes for touching her shoulder. It goes for touching her hair, it goes for even your communication.

But it certainly goes for the vagina, the vulva.

Women’s genitals are very expressive, okay? If you can really pay attention it’ll give you the feedback.


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Through moisture, through swelling, through her feedback, and through the sounds she makes.

So you wanna be able to pay attention to these cues because all the instructions you need are in her body, not from me telling you right?

So the thing I wanna tell you though is to pay attention.

Having a high attention span is the number one trait that makes a man good in bed.

I’d argue it’s also what makes you successful in life. Being able to pay attention to the cues in business, in relationships in whatever.

But certainly when it comes to a woman’s body.

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2) Be Curious

The next principle is to be curious.

Once you’re paying attention you wanna look even deeper.

Don’t just, just pay attention to what her body is doing in the moment.

Be curious, like oh what happens if I lick this part of her labia?

What happens if I turn my mouth sideways and kiss?

What happens when I suck?

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Or what happens when I go lightly or hard (or whatever)?

Some of the best oral sex techniques that I have, I’m not even gonna share with you–because I came up with all of them from being curious and noticing like oh this worked with this woman.

Or she had this feedback.

And that’s the mindset you wanna have going into sex, because you’ll come up with your own best techniques.

And they’re not even gonna work with every woman, because every woman is different.

I mean, you don’t need me to tell you what a woman’s positive response is.

If she’s making positive moaning sounds, if she’s getting wet, if she’s saying yes more, more… you know what arousal looks like, I’m sure you do.

You don’t need me to tell you what it is. Pay attention and pick up those cues, ’cause that’s what’s gonna bring her to orgasm.

[adning id=”11089″]

3) Eat For Your Pleasure

The last thing on finding the resonant stroke is to eat for your pleasure.

This is an obvious one right?

If you’re eating a meal, you’re eating it for your pleasure. Don’t worry about whether the steak you’re eating is enjoying it–you would never do that right, that’s ridiculous.

Of course you do wanna care about whether she’s having a good time. That’s why you’re asking the question.

But as I addressed in a video on how to get women to wanna give you oral sex more often… same thing on the flip side. Giving oral sex to a woman, eating her out, can be a very pleasurable experience for you.

You may have noticed when you suck a woman’s p*ssy and you’re really in it and you’re really connected you might get hard.

Why is that?

TRENDING: 3 Shocking Rough Sex Moves She’ll BEG You for Again & Again…

Because you’re picking up on her sympathetic arousal, and that’s part of the fun of sex. There’s no longer any giver or receiver because you’re both enjoying every act.

If you can get yourself into this mindset you won’t even worry about whether or not she gets off or not ’cause you’ll be having such a good time.

And the beauty is when you’re in this connected state that’s when the highest sensation happens.

That’s when she’s most likely to orgasm–when you are eating her out for your own pleasure.

It’s like when a woman is really enthusiastic about sucking your c*ck. That’s when it feels the best right?

Speaking of which… here’s a fun trick you can use to get a woman practically “addicted” to your manhood:

how to go down on a girl
Keep scrolling to discover the easiest way to make her crave you sexually…

Want Her to Get Addicted to Your Manhood?

Don’t get me wrong… some women WILL get addicted to some good tongue, I’ve seen it a bunch of times before.

But every girl is different…

Not every woman out there gets off from just good oral.

Some women don’t get off from oral AT ALL… which is why you need a variety of tricks in your utility belt (like this 5-Finger Tantra move for example).

That being said… there is one move in particular that has allowed me to give orgasms to almost every woman I’ve used it on… (except for maybe one or two girls back in my early days)…

And because few women have ever experienced this move, or are even aware of it…

… when you use it, it can cause these INTENSE whole body (and sometimes squirting) orgasms.

The best part is, you only need 5 fingers to do it… so you can use it when you’re going down on her and your tongue needs a break…

During sex if your c*ck needs a break…

And speaking from experience, if you use this move right she WILL come, and she WILL want to sleep with you again… point blank:

Click here to see how to use 5-Finger Tantra to give any woman explosive orgasms and get her addicted to your manhood.

[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on January 25, 2021.]

4 Ways to Rebound After Rejection


It is rarely welcome, comfortable or pleasant to feel like you’ve been rejected. Whether your lover breaks off the relationship, you are turned down for a job or a promotion, your kids make it known that are NOT cool or your best friend starts hanging out with someone else, it can be painful.

Rejection happens on the outside, but it mainly wields its damaging sword on the inside.

You see, each one of us is the person who deems a conversation, an event or a situation as a rejection. This may sound crazy or unrealistic, but knowing this can make a big difference in how long it takes for you to rebound from rejection or whether or not you bounce back at all.

Of course, real stuff really happens.

From the shocking and life-altering to the more mundane and everyday, rejections of all shapes and sizes occur in the lives of every one of us. We hear someone’s words, read an e-mail, are faced with empty closets and see what appears to be evidence of us being rejected.

It is clear that your relationship is over, the promotion is going to someone else, you weren’t invited to the party and so on. Where most of us go from this point of real stuff really happening often deepens the feeling of rejection. We get ourselves stuck and virtually paralyzed in this place.

It is our thoughts about what happened– what this means, what this says about us– that can intensify the pain and make it nearly impossible to let it go and move on. These same thoughts can play a big role in crushing self esteem.

Your thoughts may center on how worthless, inadequate or otherwise deficient you think you are because this happened– or perhaps because a whole list of things have happened in your life up to this point.

If you’ve experienced what feels like a rejection, try these 4 ways to rebound:

1: Re-frame it

One strategy that can help is to re-frame what happened. First of all, a re-frame isn’t lying to yourself, denying what’s going on or pretending.

When you re-frame a situation, you look at it from a different point of view. You deliberately shift your perception. One thing you might try is to focus in on the literal words that were said instead of letting your particular slant on the “rejecting” conversation or event dominate.

For example, If you were passed over for a promotion at work, think back to what your boss literally said to you about it. Think about what he or she said and don’t read between the lines or make assumptions. Chances are, what was literally said is much less hurtful and not as much of a rejection as you initially felt it to be.

You still don’t have the promotion, but your understanding of the decision that your boss made can shift. This can make it easier for you to make decisions about what’s next that will line you up for the future you want.

2: Remove blocks

When things don’t go the way you want them to go, there is usually some form of block. While a block can appear to be a person or condition standing in your way, more often than not, the block is mostly internal.

If you’re experiencing whatever happened as a rejection and you’re feeling stuck there, it’s likely that you are your biggest block. The key is in your thoughts and beliefs.

Pay attention to the beliefs you have about yourself, your life and what is possible for you. If you want a long-lasting and happy love relationship, yet deep down inside you believe that you don’t deserve one or what you want never happens, this is a block.

Your expectations that all lovers will either cheat or leave, that great relationships will inevitably deteriorate or that passion always dies away, can act as a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. They prepare you for the kind of rejection that you fear but, at the same time, anticipate.

Pay attention to the habitual thoughts and beliefs that may be blocks to the kind of life you want. When you come upon an internal block, question it. Ask yourself if this true.

3: Learn from it

A good piece of employment advice is, if you’ve been turned down for a job, respectfully ask the employer why. Without accusation or hostility, it is perfectly acceptable for a person to inquire, “What could I do differently to make myself a more appealing candidate for your company?”

If you feel like you’ve been rejected, you might have the opportunity to ask a similar question. There’s no doubt that this takes guts. Nobody wants to revisit the place where they were just turned down. The answer you get may be difficult to hear as well.

At the same time, if you can be courageous enough to learn from what happened, you can use that information to make improvements that could bring you what you want– the next time you try.

If you approach the person whom you feel rejected you, be specific with your question. Instead of saying, “What was wrong with me?” say, “What could I change and improve?” Really listen to what the person says. You may or may not agree with his or her assessment and that’s okay.

Don’t make the other person the “expert” in your self-improvement. You get to be that for yourself. But, stay open to some changes that might make sense to you and then follow through and actually do them.

4: Expand

What seems like a rejection can be your opportunity to grow and expand from where you are…if you let it. A “no” from someone doesn’t have to be an obstacle between you and your goals.

In fact, you might take this time to re-evaluate where your life is headed. You probably aren’t the same person you used to be (none of us are) and your aspirations and goals may need to change– even radically– as you change.

The bottom line here is that a rejection doesn’t have to be felt like a door slamming in your face.

It may hurt and lead you to question your own value, but it’s not the end of your ability to live a fulfilling and successful life, whatever that looks like to you. In fact, as you rebound it can truly be just the beginning.

3 Cures for Insecurity | blog

Insecurity is not a disease, but it can certainly feel as crippling and debilitating as one.

When you want to speak up but your mouth goes dry and you remain silent…
When you feel the urge to step forward but your feet feel lodged in cement…
When you feel low, dull, lacking and even worse…

You’re possibly being held down by your insecurities.

Insecurities aren’t just something that awkward and pimple-faced teenagers grapple with. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are, you might feel insecure.

Your insecurities may be about your appearance, your perception of how “good” or “bad” you are, how skilled, talented, witty, charming, creative or anythings else or NOT you believe that you are.

Especially if you have low self esteem, you may be living with your insecurities on an almost constant basis. It could seem to you that your limitations and deficiencies are all that you are about.

It could be that you’ve always considered yourself to be a confident and sure of yourself kind of person, except when it comes to _________. While we all have strengths and weaknesses, maybe your perceived weaknesses take more of your attention than you’d like them to.

It comes down to this…

It’s nearly impossible and certainly a lot more work to succeed and create the kind of life that you desire when you feel insecure.

There’s a huge difference between acknowledging where you’d like to improve and what new skills or habits you’d like to learn and feeling a core deficiency about yourself as a person because you are where you are at the moment.

This is the debilitating aspect of insecurity.

A sense of doubt can pervade your whole being. It can be difficult and emotionally painful to get through life– and you probably know that you could be living so much more.

The “cure” for insecurity starts with you. As much as your loved ones want to help you feel better about yourself and as well- intentioned as their advice is, YOU are the only one who can truly turn your beliefs about yourself around.

Here are 3 strategies you can use to overcome insecurity and raise your self esteem:

1: Deliberately change your focus.

You’re probably well-practiced at being insecure.

If you’re like most people, you’ve been feeling somehow lacking for quite some time. You’ve possibly felt insecure for as long as you can remember.

This is why being deliberate is so important.

You’re going to need to stay aware of what you are focusing on and the thoughts you are having about yourself or others as much as possible.

In many cases, insecurity goes hand-in-hand with comparing one’s self to others. When you see a thinner, fitter, more muscled, wealthier, happier (or whatever) person, do you tend to declare yourself vastly inferior?

Get into the habit of catching yourself when you play this painful comparing game. Recognize what you’re doing and shift your focus.

It’s probably not going to feel authentic for you to attempt to move from a thought like: “We’re the same age and her body is much more fit and thin than mine is” to something like “I’m so fit and thin” if that’s not what you believe.

However, you might hear yourself thinking that thought and then deliberately change your focus to something else– the cup of coffee you’re drinking, the music you were listening to, your feet walking down the street or the conversation you were having with a friend.

This in-the-moment technique can help you interrupt a pattern of regularly deeming yourself to be less than others. It is an essential starting place.

This shift in focus can help you create room for and be more present to what’s going on within you– including the great stuff that’s already there and what’s in development too.

When struggling, look for proof.

I know, sometimes it’s just not that easy to do.

Distraction does not cure insecurity. If you’re attempting to tune out your self-hating thoughts by focusing on your coffee, it might not work all that well.

As I said, interrupting the pattern is a starting place.

You’re going to need to engage with yourself about the insecure belief that you have. When you’re struggling to shift your focus and loosen the grip that your self-deficient thoughts have, try this:

Look for proof of your deficiency.

Please use this exercise with care. Use it as a way to intentionally challenge your insecure beliefs about yourself and NOT to further confirm them.

For example, if you are sure that you are the least talented member of your department at work, look for proof. Ask yourself where the tangible, indisputable and 100% of the time accurate proof is that you are the “least talented member of your department.”

While you might quickly be able to come up with instances that show that you didn’t perform as effectively or with the same quality as some of your co-workers, I’m betting that it will be nearly impossible for you to find tangible, measurable proof for you being the “least talented member of your department” ALL of the time…or in ALL ways any of the time.

The power behind this exercise is for you to demonstrate to yourself that the beliefs upon which you are basing your insecurities are not as certain or fixed as you may have previously believed.

It can provide space and flexibility for a different attitude about yourself to begin to grow.

3: Be inner appreciative.

What we’re working up to here is you being more appreciative of who you are. As you begin to habitually interrupt your insecure thinking pattern and you challenge these limiting beliefs about yourself, you can open up to being more inner appreciative.

When you are inner appreciative, it doesn’t matter how fit, muscled, wealthy, talented or successful anyone else is. There’s no competition and no comparing.

As insecurity subsides, what you can start to see is that you are valuable for who you are. There’s nothing to prove and nobody to impress. You are a worthy human being with unlimited potential to do whatever and be whatever you desire.

Self-Respect: It’s As Simple As…

It’s an inner push-pull for me.

When I’m invited to a party or I know that I’ll be with a large group of people, I feel uncomfortable. Depending on what else is going on in my life– how stressed I feel in general– this discomfort at the thought of being in a room with a lot of voices, a lot of stimuli and a lot of energy ranges from mild to more intense.

Sometimes, I feel drained just thinking about what it will be like to be among ALL of these people.

After noticing my discomfort, I often consider whether or not I will even go to the party, event or gathering that’s going to take place. And, then, the barrage of thoughts really revs up.

I might label myself as “too sensitive” or “socially inept.” I might also rationalize all of the other useful things I could do with my time instead of attending the event in question. And, I may remind myself about the people I care so much about who will be there and what I will miss out on if I “wimp” out and stay home.

In this inner tug-of-war of thoughts, my sense of self-respect hangs in the balance.

You might not feel uncomfortable when you are around large groups of people. For you, it could be something quite different, like your tendency to eat when you’re upset, your habit of shopping to chase away the blues, your usual mode of tuning out your kids or spouse by multi-tasking or anything else that you notice you do that feels inappropriate, harmful or unwanted.

It is not so much these habits and tendencies that stand in the way of any of us feeling truly good and worthy as human beings, it’s the way that we use these “bad” habits and tendencies to strip ourselves of the self esteem and self-respect we may have.

The people, values, traditions and things that we respect are accorded a special value in our individual estimations. True respect is something that is almost always based on a series of consistent and positive experiences.

When you respect someone, you generally believe and give your attention to that person and his or words and actions. You might view that person as a role model and inspiration.

The interesting thing is that quite a few of us don’t truly respect ourselves. Especially if you’ve struggled with low self esteem in the past, your sense of self-respect may feel fragile, tenuous or weak.

And, it’s no surprise that those of us who are often uncertain of ourselves, indecisive and regularly feel like we are being victimized in some form or another don’t truly respect ourselves.

One way to reclaim the power of self-respect is to start doing more of this…

Honor who and where you are– even on your way to change.

What does honoring one’s self actually mean?

Does it mean that where I am is perfect, flawless and no tweaking is ever required?
Does it mean that if I’m uncomfortable with what you are saying or doing, you need stop so that I can feel okay again?
Does it mean that my needs come before anyone else’s?

These are all important questions that have no “right” answers.

Ultimately, you’ve got to feel inside of yourself to determine what honoring yourself really looks and feels like. It will undoubtedly fluctuate over time and depending on the situation.

In most cases, to honor who and what you are does NOT mean that you deny the potential for growth and expansion that is always there. It is very different to walk around fixated on how “bad” your habits are than it is to acknowledge that there is room for improvement in your accustomed ways of living and being.

It is also very different to expect everyone around you to be and do exactly as you wish so that you can feel “respected” than it is to stand confidently in your truth while giving others the space to stand in their own truths as well– and to stay open to learn from them too.

Honoring who and where you are CAN mean that you don’t have to make anyone wrong– including yourself.

You can acknowledge that the habits that you have developed thus far in your life have served you up to a point and in some form. You can assess whether or not these are ways of living and being that you want to carry with you into your future.

In short, you don’t have to hate on yourself in order to change and bring improvements to your life. In fact, when you do, you undermine the self-respect that’s absolutely required to live a fulfilling life.

Without apology or justification, look for opportunities to grow.

If you’ve identified a change that you’d like to make in your life, keep your eyes on where you want to go AND cultivate a sense of honor and respect for where you are right now.

You don’t have to love and admire your current habits, but you can start to honor them. Don’t fritter away your energy apologizing for how “horrible” it is that you _____ . Stop rationalizing that you only _____ because of some trauma or hurtful experience you had.

Instead, own where you are and who are. Invite yourself to stand in the place where you are without apology or justification. Stay aware of and follow through with opportunities for growth in the direction you’d like to go.

This is an ongoing process that requires patience, persistence and a lot of love.

The post Self-Respect: It’s As Simple As… appeared first on blog.

Stop Apologizing for Your “Limitations” and Use Them to Get Ahead in Life

“It takes all kinds” is a popular phrase that’s been used to express a tolerance for difference. After all, we all are unique individuals. Underneath our similarities partially defined by ethnicity, race, gender, class, geography, etc. we are each our own person.

If it’s true that “it takes all kinds,” then why do so many of us spend time and energy feeling bad about and apologizing for our so- called “limitations?”

It may be a source of pride that you were the first one in your family to graduate from college, for example. In your family and perhaps even your community, this makes you unique.

On the other hand, you may not feel so proud of the fact that you don’t learn in the same way that some other people learn. If the bulk of your school years was spent worrying that someone will discover this about you as you struggle to try to keep up, you might not feel positively about this particular uniqueness.

Regardless of the specific “oddity,” “disability” or “abnormality” that you have either been labeled with or that you’ve labeled yourself with, it’s likely that this difference in you feels like something that is lacking.

Understandably, you might look around yourself at all of the other people in the world who appear to do or be something that doesn’t come as easily to you– or doesn’t come to you at all– and you can’t help but feel limited and somehow less than because of it.

Isn’t it time to stop apologizing for your unique way of being you?

The rainforest of human brain functioning.

Dr. Thomas Armstrong writes about the importance of something called “neurodiversity” in an article recently published by Ode magazine.

In his article, Dr. Armstrong describes this new scientific field– neurodiversity– as quite like that well-known phrase quoted above…

Yes, it does take all kinds to create a wonderfully dynamic and thriving world. It takes all kinds of people whose brains learn and process information in vastly different ways.

Using the analogy of a rainforest, Dr. Armstrong proposes that it is this diversity of brain processing that helps us continue to expand and grow as human beings.

No matter how “limited” you think you are, in actuality, your way of thinking and being is vital to whole human race!

For example, Dr. Armstrong points out that dyslexics can sometimes more clearly “see” a plan in three-dimensions than non-dyslexics can. Someone with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) may be able to handle a fast-paced, physically active task better than someone else.

This is not to say that those who have been diagnosed with dyslexia, ADHD or any other “disorder” do not face challenges, many do.

However, when what was before considered a “disorder” and perhaps even a weakness is viewed in a new way– from a point of view of opportunity– the doors of possibility and success open.

Honor your own unique contribution.

Even if you have never been diagnosed with a learning disability or some other brain function “disorder” or challenge, you can benefit from this lesson.

Instead of continually apologizing for whatever it is that you do or however it is that you are that you believe is “off” or lacking, stop.

Shift your perspective of your own self and your abilities. Figure out what you like to do and the way that you can best do it. Then, deliberately place yourself in situations that are a good match for who you are.

It can be beneficial to challenge yourself to go beyond where you are, of course. But, that doesn’t mean you have to constantly run up against the same wall over and over again.

For example, I have a belief that I am bad at mathematics and I shy away from numbers as much as possible in my day-to-day life. I can certainly present myself with opportunities to become more practiced at math and more comfortable working with numbers.

At the same time, I don’t necessarily need to choose a job or daily activity that is centered on math. My talents at this time lie in other areas. And, I absolutely do not need to deem myself a less valuable person merely because math is not my forte.

Make it your goal to highlight your strengths AND to find hidden advantages to those aspects of you that you may have before believed to be only limitations.

You might just find yourself doing things you’d never before dreamed possible and being the person you always wanted to be.

Build Self Esteem One Step at a Time

We all know that in just about every case, a baby does not go from being swaddled and carried in its mother’s arms directly to running, jumping and leaping. There are exceptions. But, for most little ones, there is a usual progression involving rolling, crawling, pulling up, falling down, walking and then running.

When you learned how to drive a car, you probably started out in an empty parking lot accelerating and braking and then you practiced parallel parking before you set out on a long road trip behind the wheel.

There are so many things in life that happen gradually and step by step.

So, why is it we become frustrated with ourselves when we don’t automatically stop an unwanted habit?

In particular, why is it that when a person decides that it’s time to raise his or her self esteem, that person becomes frustrated and feels like a failure when it doesn’t happen all at once?

Keith is tired of feeling like a second class citizen. Pretty much all of his life, he has sat at the back of the room, remained quiet even when he had something to say, refrained from talking to the women he wanted to meet and basically managed to merely get by.

Yes, Keith has a decent-paying job, but it’s one he seriously dislikes. There have been a few relationships with women in Keith’s past, but they’ve never felt respectful, kind or fulfilling.

In just about every area of his life, Keith realizes that he settles for what he can get instead of going for what he really wants.

For Keith, this is all about self esteem. He has never felt good enough, smart enough, successful enough, handsome enough, worthy enough and the list could go on and on.

It is a vital first step for Keith– and you too– to affirm to yourself that you currently have and that you are ready to make a change.

Now that you know that you want to improve your self esteem, how exactly do you do that?

You may have made a commitment to yourself to boost your sense of self worth and perhaps friends and family members have encouraged you to do this too.

The roadblock that many people fall into is that they decide to build self esteem and, for awhile, they feel an improvement just having made this decision. Then they encounter a set-back of some sort and return to feeling worthless and inadequate.

You simply cannot jump from hating yourself to completely accepting and loving yourself.

Perhaps this happens for a few people, but it’s quite unusual.

The good news is this: You CAN incrementally build your self esteem and feel better and better along the way.

It all starts exactly where you are at this very moment. Don’t pretend that you don’t cringe when you look in the mirror or that you sometimes try to hide your background, what you do for a living or some other aspect of yourself.

It’s time to stand in the place where you are and to begin to move toward greater self-acceptance and self-love.

Here are 2 ways to build self esteem from where you are at this moment…

1: Listen in on your inner conversations.

For low self esteem to perpetuate and grow, it requires a steady stream of limiting messages. While these messages may come from your boss, co-workers or even family members, it’s quite likely that you are supplying the bulk of critical messages about you.

You can try to stop your thoughts, but it’s really tough to do– nearly impossible, actually.

What you can do, however, is to pay closer attention to the inner “conversations” between you and you. When you notice that you are mentally or emotionally beating up on yourself for not being, doing or having something that you think you should, recognize that as a critical conversation.

Start to see how many of these inner conversations happen over the course of a day or a week. This might require you to pause and really listen to yourself from time to time.

What you don’t want to do is to call yourself names for thinking these limiting thoughts– this, of course, is only adding more fuel to the proverbial fire of low self esteem.

What you do want to do is to notice that you are having a critical conversation and make the choice to interrupt it.

You might interrupt it by asking yourself questions such as: “Really? Is that really true?”

You might also interrupt a critical thought by introducing the opposite statement and see how it feels to think and even say it out loud. Experiment with some inner love talk. For example: Instead of “I’m so fat” try, “I am beautiful.”

It’s not necessary for you to believe the opposite statement in order for it to disrupt the limiting thought and potentially take hold as a truth you CAN believe in the future.

2: Look for the positives.

Get into the habit of looking for things about your life and yourself that you can appreciate and feel even somewhat good about.

Nothing is too small or insignificant.

Appreciate yourself for practicing good oral hygiene and for remembering to feed your dog! Find some part of your body that you do find attractive and pleasing (even slightly so).

Look for evidence of worthiness in every facet of your life– job, relationships, work, self-care, interests, hobbies– and don’t stop. Stay on the lookout for anything and everything that you deem to be positive and respectable and pause for a moment when you come across something.

Revel in the positives that you find and allow them to build.

Please note: This practice will not make you self-centered, selfish, arrogant or even an obnoxious Pollyanna! What it can do is to re-train your brain so that you are seeing more of the picture of what’s going on. Looking for the positives can help you build self esteem in healthy and sustainable ways.

As you become more positively-focused, your self esteem can improve little by little and, sometimes, by leaps and bounds.

Get More R-E-S-P-E-C-T in Your Relationships and Life

Gloria feels like a doormat. It seems to her that she gets “walked on” by just about everyone in her life– her kids, her husband, her boss, her co-workers, even the people she rides the bus to and from work with each day.

She gets shoved to back of the bus, interrupted and talked over by friends and taken for granted by her family. She frequently hears either her husband or one of her kids say something like, “Mom will do that. She doesn’t mind.” In fact, she usually does mind– but she does whatever it is that was expected of her anyway.

More than anything else, Gloria longs to feel respected, truly respected.

If, like Gloria, you are done feeling like a doormat who is taken for granted at every turn and by every one in your life, you may also be longing to feel respected.

As Aretha Franklin sang in the 1960s R&B; song, “All I’m askin’ is for a little respect….” This may be your unofficial anthem as well.

If so,try these 5 tips for getting more R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

1: Honor and respect yourself first.

It is nearly impossible for you to feel respect, if you don’t have respect for yourself. Feeling respected is closely linked with your self esteem. If you have low self esteem, it’s likely that you also don’t feel respected.

The two go hand in hand.

Too often, people feel unloved, worthless and powerless and they rely on other people, positions or even things to convince them that they are (maybe) respectable. The trouble with this is that it is always temporary and changeable.

You might feel a boost of both self esteem and being respected when another person compliments you or if you are given kudos at work for a project well done. It is wonderful to revel in moments like these.

It is not so wonderful if you base your sense of self worth and honor mainly upon events like this and what you think others think.

As you probably already know, it is far too easy to misinterpret what another person thinks. The positions and things in your life are also subject to change or somehow appear less (or more) valuable over time.

You are your own biggest potential supporter. You are the one who can best strengthen and nurture your sense of self worth and self respect.

Knowing this is a helpful starting point. You can begin to build self respect for yourself when you honor yourself, for example, by listening to what you are willing and unwilling to do instead of merely saying “yes” or “no” to win someone else’s approval.

2: Discover your own blocks to being respected.

If you don’t feel respected– either by your own self or by others– it’s probable that you hold beliefs and have developed habits that are blocking the way to respect.

Gloria realizes that, in her mind, she has tied her sense of self worth to being indispensable to both her family and her co-workers and boss.

She prides herself on knowing exactly how the kids like their food prepared, how her husband prefers his pants to be ironed, how her boss wants his coffee, etc.

On one level, Gloria believed that being the “expert” in these ways to different people in her life will make them respect her. Unfortunately, this isn’t what happens.

Instead, Gloria’s husband and kids refuse to cook (or iron clothes), her boss expects his coffee delivered at 9am sharp each morning and rarely do any of them offer her thanks, let alone expressions of respect.

Having recognized this, now Gloria has challenged herself to find things she can respect about herself that are not connected with what she does for other people.

There’s nothing wrong with being good at what you do– whether it’s ironing, cooking, making coffee, building bridges or leading large groups of people. However, if you base your self esteem on these roles, you are not building a strong foundation for respect.

3: Explore new ways to open up to respect.

Let’s face it. When asked to find something about ourselves that deserves respect, most of us will look to what we do and our status or position– the exact things I’m recommending that you NOT base your sense of self worth upon.

This is a new way of thinking about respect and cultivating it within yourself and from others. It will probably take some practice.

Take out a piece of paper and write at the top, “I deserve respect because…”

If it helps you get started with this shift in thinking, go ahead and allow yourself to write down the things you do or the positions that you hold. But, next to this, write down the qualities that are unique to you that make this an honorable and respectable action.

You might write down, for instance, that feeding, caring for and keeping the house tidy for your children and spouse requires quite a bit of organizational skill, patience, perseverance and more.

There’s so much about YOU that is worthy of respect.

4: Give what you’d like to get.

When it comes down to it, you really can’t make someone else respect you. Quite often, others will respond to the energy or sense of self that you give off.

This means that if you believe that you are nothing of value, you will be treated as such.

This is why it is so important to learn to respect yourself for who you are– which is underneath all of what you do and the people you are related to.

This is absolutely essential.

You can also increase your chances of being respected by others when you treat them the way that you want to be treated. This wisdom is repeated in many religious and spiritual teachings and it’s certainly true when it comes to respect.

If you want to be honored and respected, give honor and respect to others.

This might mean that you respect your kids enough to show them how to make their own snacks and allow them to do it. This may mean that you honor your boss enough to be honest with him or her about how you would really like to be contributing to the business.

5: Expect respect.

As you give respect, it is also crucial that you expect respect. Many times, our expectations that someone else will fail us or that we will continue to be treated as a doormat are exactly what we get.

Some call it the Law of Attraction, others call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you want to be respected, believe that you deserve respect, cultivate it for your own self and then expect that you will receive it.

A lot of this happens on the inside. As you improve your self esteem and you begin to see that you are worthy of being treated the way that you really want to be treated, it will show.

You may need to communicate to others that you’d like to be spoken to or treated in a particular way– be specific with your requests. For the most part, however, your change in expectations and your bolstered self esteem will pave the way.

Know that there is more than enough respect to go around. We can ALL– including you– feel honorable and valuable and worthy.